how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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