You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
