as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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