Dual....:-)
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
