how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
