he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
