my mouth tastes like poor choices
wanna go halves on a baby?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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