i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
