Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
