dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
