Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
