Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize