how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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