new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
