Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
