So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
