youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
