It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
