I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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