Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
