ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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