I wish I could teleport
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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