he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I am naked and annoyed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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