eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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