I heard we made out
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
