..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
