have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
