So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
