Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize