id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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