The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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