Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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