maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Holy shit dude........stairs
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
