and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
