dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
