non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
