he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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