We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
