Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
