at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
