Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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