And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
