Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
