just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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