It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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