Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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