Umm I'm too high to move.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
another moral hangover. fuck.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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