Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
