There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize