He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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