you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
