my soul wont recognize me after tonight
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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