and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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