ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
