Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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