Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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