It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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